What's New Pussycat?

(Wow,  I started this entry in late April and I am just now finishing and publishing the post. This post only includes an update up until June.)

I feel like I'm always asked the same old questions time and time again:
"What's new?"
"How's it going?"
"What have you been up to lately?"

And I feel as though I usually reply with the same old vague and uninteresting answers:
"Oh not much,"
"It's going good," "
"Just the same old, same old,"
"Oh you know, just living the dream."

Etc., etc.

Because in truth, I'm in my life so much, that I forget how much is really going on. I tend to forget that life really does change dramatically from week to week, month to month. Even lately, when people ask me what is up, I fail to give any real substance to what is going on in our lives, because I forget that important, exciting, and nerve wracking things are happening to us. Below are my most recent, life changing events:

Before I dig into the meat of this post, below are a few fun highlights I have experienced over the past couple of months:

• Goblin Valley -- I went on a short weekend getaway with my parents in April to Goblin Valley. We had a blast camping in a yurt, hiking and exploring the gorgeous scenery, eating tin foil dinners, listening to Neil Diamond, and bonding.

Our temporary home :)

the cute 'rents :) 

Picking the Goblin's nose :P

View from our porch

That little guy in the distance looks like a turtle

• AWOLNATION

My sister Alison was able to get Vance and me free concert tickets to see AWOLNATION live at the U. We were so stoked! Ali of course came too, and we invited our friend Meliss to join us. It was a blast!

We're spelling AWOL with our hands. Homemade concert shirts!

"Never let your fear decide your fate"

•  Pilates -- I have fallen in love with the art of Pilates, and try and go twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays at our local fitness center, when my schedule permits me to. It's an excellent release, and it's a great physical and therapeutic hobby to help me unwind and to get my doughy body back into shape.

• Imagine Dragons -- Since last spring, Imagine Dragons has become one of mine and Vance's favorite bands.We were able to go to their concert on May 20th at UVU,  and it was incredible! They put on such a great show, and Vance and I had such a great time!

Now, back to reality. Let's start with...


• Work -- I hit my 3 year mark at Zoobies the beginning of April. I felt that considering all the time, blood, sweat, tears, and frustration I have put into my work there, that it was a huge milestone and a ginormous accomplishment. I even talked my bosses into getting me a frontrunner pass so that I could ride the train into work and be at the office in Bountiful every day for them. No more spending gas money!

• Front Runner -- I spent the entire month of April commuting every day to and from Bountiful. It was a new and unique experience for me. I felt slightly sophisticated and business like, catching trains and relying on public transportation to get me to and from work; setting up my laptop and working from the train. Kind of reminded me of my summer in Europe 4 years ago. All the traveling and keeping up with the schedules was exhausting, but I kind of enjoyed it. Rather than driving an hour to work, and another hour home, I got to sit and enjoy the scenery while I listened to my iPod and worked on my laptop. Plus, free wi-fi! It was funny to see the same commuters everyday, catching their way to and from work, just like myself. I found  myself wondering where they worked, what they did for a living, what their families were like, and if they recognized me and wondered what I did for a living. I'll bet no one guessed that the loner chick with the mint green laptop and bright pink headphones in her ears was the designer of adorable plush animals, haha.

April 'twas a very rainy month to commute...

Two trains are better than one ;)

Other than the regular stress of work at Zoobies, things were going fair (not great, just fair) ......until.....I got the news towards the end of April that I would be.....

• Laid off -- Turns out Zoobies was doing worse than I thought, and starting May 1st, I would be cut off from health insurance, and my working hours would be cut drastically. Not even any unemployment benefits for me while I get things sorted out. I was intending to look for a new job ASAP, but this unexpected turn of events meant feverishly looking for a new job IMMEADIATELY, which meant -- re-building and polishing my resume and putting together my portfolio -- all things that would require hours of my time, lots of energy, and a little bit of money. But what I was even more concerned about at the time was my lack of health insurance. You see, Vance and I had just started a long process with our doctors toward the beginning of January regarding...

• Infertility -- It's about time I talked about this openly. Now, I am not saying that we cannot have children, we just don't KNOW if we can. In November of 2011, shortly after our one year anniversary, we both felt strongly that we were ready for parenthood, and that it was time to start our family. I had a couple of dreams that summer, one in which I was in labor and being rushed to the delivery room, and another a few months after that where the name of my first born daughter was given to me. I had been off of birth control just months after we were married because it made me so depressed and weird, so we figured we would and could get pregnant right away.

Turns out the Lord isn't ready for us to become parents yet.

It has been heartbreaking, month after month, getting our hopes up and thinking, "This is the month I'll have a positive sign on my pregnancy test!", just to start my monthly cycle instead. I have stopped taking tests altogether. It is a waste of money to see that negative sign, over and over again. It has become discouraging, and has caused fears in my mind that maybe this will not happen for us. So many of my friends haven't even been trying, and have gotten pregnant, or have gotten pregnant within the first couple months of leisurely trying. Although I am happy for others who are welcoming little bundles of joy into their lives,  having the same blessings not currently happening for us has caused an ache in our hearts, and lots of tears. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't look in the mirror and wish that I had a baby bump, proof of life growing inside of me.

Because I knew I was getting off of my insurance soon, I quickly made some appointments with my doctor, and he has ran some tests to see if he could find anything out. Vance was tested a few months back, and everything checked out okay. I started chlomid (fertility pills to increase my chances of pregnancy), a few months before I was laid off, as well. The tests and ultrasounds that the doctor ran didn't show anything abnormal or weird. It looks like I am ovulating, and my ovaries have been doing what they are supposed to, at least on the chlomid, anyway.

Knowing that everything looks fine, and that my cycle comes like clockwork only frustrates me even more. I can't help by think "Why? We're doing everything right, we're healthy, nothing is wrong with either of us, so then WHY?" I know everyone means well, but I am sick and tired of everyone telling me cliche answers that it's just stress, or that it will happen in the Lord's time, or just that it will happen when it's supposed to happen. And please don't ask me if I am tracking my period, or checking my temperature, tracking when I ovulate, praying, fasting, or any of those other questions. Yes, of course I am.

There are those in FAR less ideal circumstances that we -- two happily married young adults in their 20s wanting to start a family -- who get pregnant all the time. I have dreamed about becoming pregnant my entire life. It has been something I just always knew would happen for me. I grew up putting basketballs under my shirt and rubbing my fake stomach. And Vance has wanted to be a father since he was in the 3rd grade. One of the reasons I fell in love with him was because of his love for babies and young children. He would be such a great dad. Ever since our first sacrament as a married couple, we have probably paid as much attention to the babies and children in the ward, as we have to the speakers giving talks. So why? Is Heavenly Father just making sure I am a more "seasoned" mother before I am allowed the same privilege as the many younger moms out there?

I understand that for the past 3+ years, basically since I started work at Zoobies, I have been under a lot of stress, which could easily be a contributing factor in the lack of babies. Zoobies wasn't exactly a "leave your work at work" kind of career. I had to carry it with me everywhere, even on vacations. I had to check my emails night and day, meet ridiculous deadlines, and wear a lot of different hats, whether I was qualified for the responsibilities or not. It was nearly impossible to take time off for anything. I didn't have a team to help me carry the weight, and constantly felt like I was drowning in work. When I got married, I had to make a hard decision to temporarily give up my dreams of becoming an artist in order to provide for us, and in order to keep our home in order. And even at my new job, which I love, it's still stressful being the one that needs to bring home the bacon.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate all of the hard work Vance is doing for us as he goes to school full time, and manages to still work part time, and mean no disrespect. Vance is paving the way for us to have a better life in the future, and he is doing all of this so that one day he can financially provide for me and our future children. I am just saying it has been hard to be one who needs to financially provide for the family, take care of the home, and still try and find time for herself. It is hard when this same person who is the main source of income and takes care of the home and runs around 24/7 trying to stay afloat, wants very badly to become a mother. It's hard when I always thought I was so young, but slowly watch myself getting older and older.  I do try and find time to relax. I take baths, I do pilates, I read books, I read my scriptures, I paint my nails, I watch mindless fun sitcoms to keep my mind off of things, I try and meditate before I fall asleep....I dream that I am pregnant. But it's not enough.

Thus, until I get back on insurance, we wait. There is nothing else we can do except for hold on to hope, stay positive,  continue to pray, and have faith that Heavenly Father understands the bigger picture much more than we do. There must be a reason for all of this waiting and not knowing.

• Job Hunt --  In late April/early May the job hunt began. I completed my resume and portfolio, which felt like it took ages to do, and set out on my ambitious journey. I applied to a position at UVU, because I thought it would be great to work so close from home, I'd be able to get Vance free tuition, they have health benefits, and I thought it would be a nice and organized change of scenery. I also applied to a position at Myler Disability in American Fork, where I would do some office work, work with lawyer and legal cases, and deal with  retired, disabled clients over the phone, helping to get them health coverage, and even some back pay. I also applied to a photolab in Orem I've enjoyed getting my photos and digital scrapbook pages done at, called Persnickety Prints. The other main job I applied for was The Daily Herald newspaper, where I would be a designer doing ad layout.

I never got an interview with UVU, but almost immediately after applying, I received phone calls for interviews to Persnickety Prints, Myler Disability, and The Daily Herald. I was hired a couple days after having my interview with Myler Disability, but felt like it wasn't the right job for me, so I thanked them for the opportunity, but declined the job. Next, my interview with Persnickety went really well. It wasn't exactly what I was looking for (I was hoping for a design position that possibly provided health benefits). The position would be costumer service, printing, and packaging. All things I wouldn't mind doing, but it was only a part time position with not nearly as much money as I have been used to earning over the past 3 years. They loved that I had a graphic design/illustrator background, and hired me. I accepted, and would start work about 2 or 3 weeks from the date that they called me and hired me. That gave me time to still search for a job that would really suit Vance and I and provide for us financially.

That is when I applied for the Daily Herald. The first interview went really well, and I tried to imagine myself working there. The interviewer was impressed with my portfolio/resume, and gave me a timed design challenge, which I took, and he said I did well. I wasn't super excited about the position, but I initially felt I could enjoy working there if hired. A week later, I finally heard back from them and they asked me to complete a new, timed follow up design challenge. I did really well on the design challenge, and yet another week went by before I heard back from them again. This time they wanted me to come back in for a final interview, so we could go over the 2 design challenges I did for them, and to meet the design team. By this point, I was already working at Persnickety, and so it made it kind of tricky to take an hour+ off of work so that I could go meet with them in Provo for the interview, and I was slightly peeved they were taking so long on the interview process.

The interview went really well, and I was at ease and felt very confident and comfortable. Unfortunately, I was not thrilled with the design team or the environment I would be in. These were people I would have to work with everyday, and doing ad layout would be what I did everyday, and it was on this day that I just felt so unexcited about it. They told me I would know by the end of the day whether or not I was selected for the job. I secretly prayed I would not get the job, because I knew that due to really needing to provide for my family, and desperately wanting health insurance and  a benefits package, I would have to say yes and accept the job. I feared I would accept it, and be just as miserable at this job as I had been at my last. I also feared if I turned it down, Vance and my family would think I was crazy, and be disappointed in my decision.

Well, another day and a half went by before I FINALLY heard back from The Daily Herald. I had been on the edge of my seat since the interview, chomping my fingernails down to little nubs, trying to figure out how to handle the situation if offered the job. I knew I would do a good job there, and felt like I aced the interviews, yet I did NOT want the job. I prayed that everything would work out how it was supposed to. I had been checking my phone non-stop all day, and checking me email every few minutes. Finally, at around 5:00, I got an email saying I was a close candidate, but did not get the job. Where I should have felt disappointment, I felt relief and joy. I could continue working at Persnickety, which I was really enjoying, and thus continue my search to find the right job.

In between waiting to hear back from The Daily Herald, and on my days off from working at Persnickety, I was job hunting. Which leads me to.....

• doTERRA -- One day, I felt impressed to swing by doTERRA in Orem on Center, and see if they had any positions open. I had thought about applying there around Christmas time last year, as I had heard nothing but good things about the place, knew they provided benefits and health insurance, and fantasized a job as a designer there. But at this point, I almost wasn't going to go because I was almost positive there would be no design positions open, and I REALLY didn't want to work at the call center making $10p/hr. However, because I was enjoying my PT job at Persnickety (despite the huge pay cut from working at Zoobies), I thought working at the call center part time alongside Persnickety during the summer wouldn't be too bad. Low stress, leave my work at work. Come home and relax.

So I walked into the Corporate office building, and went up to the receptionists desk. I asked the girls if they were hiring, and they told me to to just go online to their site and there would be a listing for what jobs were available. I did as they said, but wasn't very hopeful.

I went home and checked out the listings. Call center had some openings (blah), but alas, there was nothing for a designer position, or a receptionist position, which I also wouldn't have minded doing. Even though I didn't have any experience for any the corporate positions they were offering, I applied :)  A week or so later, I got an unexpected call. It went a little something like this:

-- unknown phone number --

Me: "Hello, this is Annika"

Todd: "Hi Annika, my name is Todd from the corporate office at doTERRA, how are you?"

I perk up a little bit. I applied for 2 positions at doTERRA-- the call center, and a corporate position. I had already had an interview set up for the next day with the call center, located a block away from the corporate office. This phone call meant that my resume I submitted to the corporate office had indeed been received and looked at! 

Me: "Great, how are you?"

Todd: "Doing well. I noticed that you applied for a marketing/communications positions here a week or so ago, but your resume says you are a designer..."

My shoulders slump a little bit. I think he's just calling me to let me know I am not qualified for the position he is looking for. 

Me: "Yes, I did. And yes, I am a designer. I know I'm not quite qualified for the position, but I figured it was worth a shot."

Todd: "Well yes, that is actually why I wanted to call you. I am the head of the design department at doTERRA, and we just had a design position open up. I was hoping you would consider applying for this position instead. I'd love to meet you for an interview if you are interested."

 I perk up in my seat.

Me: "Yes, that would be great! I have an appointment for a job interview with the call center tomorrow at 10:00, but I would be much more interested in a position as a graphic designer if there is an opening. Design is what I would really love to be doing."

Todd: "Well we would much rather have you and your skills over here, than there. Plus, as a designer, you would be earning more than you would if you were at the call center. Would you be able to come over here for an interview right after your interview with the call center?"

Yes! Of course!

Me: "That sounds perfect. I will see you tomorrow morning. Would you like me to bring a copy of my portfolio?"

Todd: "Yes, that sounds great. Just come to the receptionist desk when you arrive, and ask for Todd. See you tomorrow, Annika."

Happy dance!

That phone call instantly felt like an answer to prayers. And although I didn't have the job yet, I already felt like it was mine, and that the position opened up just for me. Vance came home from work right after that phone call, and I could hardly contain my excitement as I told him the news.

I had my interview with Todd the next day, and it went really well. I felt very confident, and when I pictured myself working there, it was a night and day difference from how I felt about working at The Daily Herald. Thinking about working here even made me forget about my current job at Persnickety, a job that I was really enjoying.

Todd gave me a tour of the building and of the product, briefly introduced me to the design team (yes, an actual TEAM of people who design), and introduced me to some more of his colleagues (one of which was the freelance videographer for Zoobies, whom I worked with sporadically for the past 3 years. Since I already had his number, I texted him shortly after the interview, and told him to put in a great word for me at doTERRA.)  I wanted to work there. The environment excited me. There was a variety of people, and I could tell it was a positive environment. I could picture myself working there and being very happy. It felt right. I knew the job was mine, I just needed Todd to call me back up and tell me it was mine. Too bad I had to wait 2+ more weeks to hear back from him. While I waited, and shortly after my interview, Vance and I took a vacation to....

• Disneyland -- While it may appear irresponsible for us to have taken a vacation at such a crucial time like this, I saw it as an opportunity to escape reality, which had been so dominant, overpowering, and stressful lately.  After so much stress and disappointment, I just needed to relax, soak up some vitamin D, and forget about reality for a little while. Plus, I actually HAD time to take off, and who knows when that can and will happen again? It seems like you either have the time to take a vacation, and no money to do it, or the money to take a vacation, and no time to go on one. Vance and I both put away at least 10% of our earnings each paycheck into savings, and put away most of our tax return into savings, so we figured this would be good for us.  When I worked for Zoobies, it was nearly impossible to take time off, so we decided, ah....what the hell, Disneyland or bust!

We took a road trip with our good friends Peggy and Thad to California, and had a great little mini vacation!

Ready to go!

Got bacon? Random gas station finds. A bit odd if you ask me. ;)

First Night: Downtown Disney

Vance's face cracks me up in this one!

Day 2: Disneyland!

Haha

Day 3: California Adventure....Carsland.
Vance's face slays me! 

Only a 2+ hour wait to go on the new Radiator Springs Cars ride! oi!

(semi) happily ever after ;)

Drawing Disney characters

Our true story is this: Vance and I met while
attending school at Monsters U.

Day 4: Mickey Mouse Ferris Wheel

Carsland at night=AWESOME. 

World of Color

Day 5: Memorial Day! on....a private beach! We have connections--
friends of friends of friends :)

the gang :)

Sandy the crab! He looked too much like a spider for me to touch him...

Namaste ;) The buddah who was located at our hotel entrance

Day 6 -- ending the trip with a delicious fried meal from
Raising Cane's in Vegas.

Long story short, I came home from Disneyland, and a few days later I got a call from Todd with a job offer! I of course accepted, and started on June 7. I have loved working at doTERRA so far...the people are great, and it's a fun and happy environment, and of course, the product is pretty cool, and the discounts are nice :) It is the perfect place me me to be right now, and the best part is, it's only a 4 minute drive from my house!

Vance wishing me luck on my first day of my new job!