Wednesday, May 30, 2018

To My Babies

Hi my babies,

I've been trying to get around to writing the two of you a letter for quite some time now. Between work, personal responsibilities, and being pregnant with you, I have been busy (and exhausted) to say the least.

I hope you both know how excited your dad and I are to meet you. We have waited and prayed for you for a loooooong time. It has not been an easy journey, but we never gave up hope. We searched many years for the right path that eventually lead us straight to you. Once our path was clear, we knew that we were all meant to be a family. Discovering I was pregnant, and then a couple weeks later finding out that I was pregnant with not only ONE baby, but TWO, were the two happiest days of mine and your father's lives!!! Hearing your heart beats for the very first time, (and every time since then) has been the loveliest music to my ears.

One day you will learn that our family isn't the most conventional family, but that the unique opportunity that brought us together is what makes our family so special. Always remember that your father and I chose you, and that we will love you unconditionally forever. I like to think that you chose us in return. The day we finally found you, I had so much joy in my heart and felt peace that you were ours to keep. Your Grandpa DeCastro said something to me a few months ago when I was about 12 weeks pregnant that has resonated with me since. He said, "You may not be the fire that originally lit the star, but you are the fire that is keeping the star burning. Your blood is flowing through these babies, and you are the reason they are growing and developing."

You are so loved, and I can't even begin to describe how thrilled everyone is to meet you. I kid you not, you two are celebrities! Grandma and Grandpa DeCastro and Grandma and Grandpa Brown are already over the moon in love with you. So are all of your aunts, uncles, cousins, and our friends. I have never felt so many people send so much love towards two humans as I have you two. I have also made many friends simply because I am pregnant with you. Everyone is so excited to meet you little cuties.

Your presence has made me a better, happier person. I laugh ALL of the time and feel so much joy. You two put me at peace, and carrying you two around makes me giggle more than I ever have before. Feeling your little kicks and punches is the most magical feeling in the world to me, and your daddy tells me all of the time how beautiful I am. It is you two (and your daddy) that have made me feel the most beautiful and happy I have ever felt.

I know that I will not be the perfect mom. My patience is not always the best, and sometimes my priorities get weird (like having a clean house is more important to me vs. being happy and nice despite having a clean house), but I am going to do my best to be a mom you are happy to have raise you. I will do my best to give you a fun childhood, and let you explore passions and hobbies that are important to you. That doesn't mean I won't say no to certain things (probably more than you wish I would, haha) but I will say yes, too.

I can't wait to watch you two grow, and see your little personalities develop. You better believe I am going to snuggle and kiss you two sooooo much. Probably until you are too old for me to be doing that to you anymore. I already get sad thinking about you growing up and probably not liking me so much anymore. But I hope we will always be close, and that you know you can come to me and your dad with anything.

Lastly, I hope you are both kind and loving to each other. My biggest hope is that you two will have each other's backs, and that you will continue to have a strong bonding friendship in each other that you will not find anywhere else. Lean on each other through the good times and the bad. Stick up for each other, and remember to be kind and loving to others as well. I already know that you are such special humans with big, beautiful hearts. I can't wait to officially meet you in a few weeks time. Until then, keep growing inside of my belly. Your dad and I will be the first to greet you as you make your entrance into this big, scary, beautiful, wonderful world. Thank you for making me a mom. I love you my son, and my daughter.

Love,
Mom