New Year New Me

2013 was good, but 2014 is going to be even better. Below are 5 goals I hope to attain this coming year. Some are superficial, some spiritual, and some are rather ambitious. All are important to me.

5) Actually take the time to do my hair

And while we are at it, can I just look like Jen in general?

I always let it air dry, and the majority of the time it's frumpishly pulled back into a bun or braids, or I'm letting the air dried curls hang down, and it doesn't ever look very good. I'm just not a big fan of spending a lot of time on my hair, and prefer to sleep in, or basically do anything else. However, my confidence is always boosted ten fold when my hair is done, so I need to get over my laziness and take Nike's slogan to heart; Just Do It. (Even if it does mean waking up an hour earlier....ugh.)


 4) Do yoga and/or pilates at least 2 times a week 

I really love it and the way it makes me feel -- inside and out-- I just need to make time for it. That's the hard part.


3) Read the Book of Mormon from cover to cover

I know, I know. That was my goal for 2012, but hey, guess what? It didn't happen. And I was so burnt out from 2012 that I didn't even bother to write down goals or a bucket list for 2013.  So it's my goal again this year. And luckily, there is a 365 day challenge I can follow for this, that I think will help make it easier to do.

The next 2 are goals from 2012 as well, but didn't happen so I am recycling them again for 2014.


2) Make a baby

I'm 27 years old dammit, and I'm not getting any younger. I planned it out in 2011 so that our first child would be born when I was 25. I'd have a kid every 2 years, and be done by 30. That plan bombed hardcore. 2012 was too stressful, 2013 left me without health insurance for a good 5 months, and we just cannot seem to get pregnant on our own. Thus, I have decided that 2014 is our year. C'mon baby!


1) Write, illustrate, and publish my first children's book

Ambitious, I know. Especially when I work full time and am trying to get pregnant. But I've realized that the timing is never going to get better, and I just need to make time for it. I was inspired with a story that came to my head a couple years ago, and I feel like it is time to finally make my dreams a reality. I have truly discovered the potential of my artistic talents over the past couple of years, and have realized I have no limits. No more waiting around, saying someday. That someday is THIS year!

And there you have it! Wish me luck, and I wish all of you the best new year as well.

Love,
Anni

Sister Life Day- the 6 Year Anniversary

December 19, 2007 (around 4:00 pm)

"The damage is done, so I guess I be leavin'......"

Those were the exact words of the Justin Timberlake song (Cry Me a River) Ali and I were listening to 6 years ago, when the pickup truck heading in the opposite direction unexpectedly swerved into our lane and hit us head on.

Never had life slowed down, or switched gears quite like it had in that moment. One second I was laughing and singing with my 19 year old sister as we were headed out to do some last minute Christmas shopping, and in the very next second, I accepted my own death. I saw it coming, and knew there was nothing I could do except let it happen. Out of instinct, I slammed on my breaks. Within a matter of seconds, my sister went from singing our favorite lyrics to the song, to lying lifeless in the seat next to me.

Ironically, the lyrics were oh so fitting for such an unfortunate event.

Everything turned to slow motion. The airbags went off in slow motion. My thoughts, though very unclear and confused, were in slow motion, and I was trapped in a brownish yellow haze of thick, nauseating smoke and fumes. My sister and best friend lay unconscious next to me. I watched as her head fell forward in slow motion, and gradually realized that my own life had not ended. It was still rolling.

That is when life sped back up, and panic set in. I faintly heard voices from outside my drivers window. I tried to function, but couldn't. The wind had been knocked out of me. Once I got it back, I kept screaming, "I can't breathe! I can't breathe! I can't breathe!" I tried to unfasten my seat belt, but couldn't. I tried opening the car door, but couldn't. I couldn't function properly at all. The air was getting thicker and harder to breathe. I could hear people telling me to get out of the car, but I just couldn't. Then I heard someone shout, "Get them out! The car's on fire!"

Due to my state of shock, I do not remember whether my driver window had cracked with the impact of the crash, or whether people busted the glass out of it, but at any rate the selfless strangers who stopped to help, pulled me out of the car through the broken glass window, and pulled my sister out from her side.

My foot was in pain, and I couldn't walk, so someone carried me to the side of the road and laid me down while they waited for the ambulance. I must have been coherent enough to give someone my parents home phone number, because they contacted my parents to let them know my sister and I were in an accident and would be rushed to the hospital. I was utterly confused, and worried that I had caused the accident.

I was there, but not really, if that makes any sense. You know when you are half awake, or on laughing gas or something, and you are really out of it, but the next morning you vaguely remember what happened, even though you were really loopy at the time? It was kind of like that. I kept asking if it was my fault, and crying that I didn't know what to do. A kind lady held my hand the entire time and tried to keep me calm as I lay there in shock with tears streaming down my face. She told me that it was no ones fault, and that everything would be fine. I have no idea who she was, and don't think that I ever even saw her face, but to this day I am grateful for this woman. She had no idea who I was, but she was there when I needed someone most, to make sure I remained calm. All the while, I remember hearing people shout that my sister was in critical condition and had possible lacerations to the face. It was unbearable to think I had caused an accident that injured my sister, or worse, lead to her death. I couldn't bear it one bit.

Once the ambulance came and strapped us to the stiff boards and loaded us into the back of the vehicle, it was like I had amnesia, though it's funny that I can remember this. The lyrics to the song we were listening to when the accident hit kept playing in my mind in slow motion, over and over, like some sick reminder of what had just happened. The damage is done so I guess I be leavin'. The damage is done so I guess I be leavin'... over and over again.

I kept wracking my brain, trying to remember who I was, where I lived, or where I had been going. The only 3 things I knew about myself were that:
1) My name was Annika Alyssa DeCastro
2) I was still poorly trying to mend a broken heart from a boyfriend that had dumped me just a few months prior
3) My sister was next to me, because we had just been in an accident. We had just been in an accident. We had JUST been in an accident....were we okay?

Nearly everything else about me or my life was a blank canvas.

I kept asking how my sister was doing. The paramedics wouldn't answer me but I could hear them saying she had a broken leg, compound fracture style, and blood on the face which could mean serious damage to the head. I had a calming reassurance in this moment, to know that it was just a bloody nose, and that she would be okay. The panic I felt on the side of the road had left me, and instead I felt peace. I believe in my weird state of condition and mind, I even feebly said this out loud. "It's just a bloody nose, she gets them all the time." Later on as we found out, I was right.

It's a little bit hazy, but if I remember correctly, once we made it to the emergency room, Alison and I were rolled off in opposite directions. In her critical condition, she was whisked away, and I was taken to get a cat scan to make sure I had no damage to the head or anywhere else in or on my body.  Alison, was taken to get a cat scan as well, but we weren't with each other when this happened. It was kind of a weird experience. I lay flat on a glowing bed, while the nurses gave me instructions to keep my eyes closed and my arms at my side, as I passed through the tube. I remember they asked me if there was any chance I might be pregnant, and I laughed out loud, thinking bitterly how I didn't even have a boyfriend to care that anything had just happened to me.

Once the scan was complete, I was rolled into a small room with a bed, where I was directed to lay down and rest while I waited for the results of the cat scan. As I stared out the open door, thinking to myself, did all of that REALLY just happen?! I saw my older sister Kirstin and her two small children come rushing through the main room. I was relieved to see family, and waved and smiled at Damon, my 2 year old nephew. Kirstin came into my room and hugged me. I didn't have any new news on Alison, but other than the pain in my right foot because the shock had worn off (as had the temporary and selective amnesia), I was feeling alright. My parents, sister Jessie, brother-in-law Jeff, and Alison's boyfriend, Travis were next to follow. Travis was white as a ghost. We didn't know this at the time, but at nearly the same moment Alison and I crashed, Travis had just bought an engagement ring for her.

My poor parents looked so distraught. My mom hugged me and cried tears of relief. Apparently, they were given very little information over the phone call they received. All they knew was that their daughters had been in a head on collision, and were being rushed to the emergency room. Thus, they were left with imaginable thoughts as they drove through Provo canyon to the hospital.

The x-rays came back and it was concluded that I had no damage to the head or organs, and that the only permanent (whip lash not included) injury I acquired from the accident were 9 crushed bones in my right foot, the same foot I used to slam on the brakes when I saw the truck coming. I would need surgery to reconstruct the bones in my foot, but there weren't any openings until 2 days after Christmas, which was 8 days away. The nurses wrapped up my foot, handed me crutches (Ahhh! I had never even attempted using crutches before), gave my parents the prescription for the pain meds they could pick up for me the next day, but failed to give me any pain meds for the time being. They didn't even remove the IV from my arm or wash the ash and soot off my face before they discharged me and sent me on my way.

For the remainder of the evening, the entire family sat in the waiting room while Alison was in surgery. It had been concluded that the only permanent damage done was to her right leg. Due to the impact of the car, her bones had snapped and shot right out of her leg. While we waited, my family would take turns rolling me around in a wheelchair, just to pass the time. Hours later, the doctor came in and told us Ali was waking up from surgery, and we could go see her now.

My sister lay in bed, hooked up to monitors. She was weak, frail, and completely confused in her hospital gown, with her leg wrapped and propped up. She was heavily sedated on morphine. I lay my head down by hers and just started crying. I was so happy and so relieved, yet so upset all in the same moment. It was hard to see my happy little sister like this. As distraught, overwhelmed, and exhausted as we all were, it was a beautiful moment for the family to all be together, just days before Christmas. My poor, sweet sister. She would be in the hospital for awhile. But she was safe, she was alive, and she was going to be okay. Recovery wouldn't be fun, but she would be alright. We had survived, and we would get through this hardship together.

I drove home with my parents that night, and Alison's best friend Leslie spent the night in the hospital room with her. My mind was spinning. The accident kept playing in my mind, over and over again. Alison and I had made plans to go Christmas shopping and to spend the evening with friends that night, and instead the day, and our lives took an unexpected turn. I kept seeing headlights right in front of my face, followed by a brown cloudy haze.

Then I started worrying. I was worried about how our friends would think we had bailed on them that night, since I no longer had my cell phone on me, (it was left in the car) or a way to contact them. I worried that Alison wouldn't be home in time for Christmas. I worried that I hadn't, and probably wouldn't get my Christmas shopping started, let alone finished. I worried about using crutches at work, especially in icy winter weather. And most delusional of all, I thought that I would be well enough to go into work the very next day. Ha! Let's just say, I wasn't well enough to go back to work for a month following December 19th, 2007. I lay in bed that night with a painfully throbbing foot, sore body, and a very vivid memory of everything that just happened. I did not sleep well.

There is a whole other chapter or two that easily follows this story. There was surgery, pain (both physical and emotional), loss of appetite, weight loss, loneliness, stress, nightmares, recovery, and depression that followed that fateful day. But now is neither the time, nor the place to discuss that part of the story.

This story is to explain the millions of miracles I witnessed from such an unpleasant experience. December 19th will forever be a day that I celebrate the life of my sister, and a day that I truly count my blessings and give thanks to my Father in Heaven for granting me such a beautiful life, and allowing Alison and I to continue living on this earth. Was our accident a near death experience? Maybe, maybe not. But I do know that it sure felt like it was. I felt angels watching over and protecting me that day. I saw my own life flash before my eyes, and I willingly accepted my own death within a matter of fleeting seconds. I witnessed miracles through the love of random strangers. Where our injuries could have been much worse, in the grand sight of all things, we left with nothing but scratches, or battle wounds if you will. These scars are reminders we will proudly wear for the rest of my lives. (By the way, the other driver who hit us was not harmed. He fell asleep at the wheel, and his body was so relaxed that he was protected that day as well).

My eyes were opened 6 years ago today. I believe this marked the day that I fully realized just how precious and fragile life really is. It COULD have been my time. Even though I was young and healthy, I still could have died at 21 years of age. It COULD have been Alison's time. But it wasn't.

My parents could have lost 2 daughters that day. It could have been so easy for my Father in Heaven to say "Times up, time to come home!"  But He didn't. Instead, He decided to give me an eye opening experience, and to give me another chance at life. Had my mortal existence ended that day, I would have died with a broken heart, holding onto the past. Instead, little did I know that just 2 years in the future I would meet the man of my dreams, embrace an exciting career, marry in the temple, and embark on an interesting journey, meet many inspiring people, and visit many breath taking places. And Alison? She was married just 5 months after all of this happened! (To Travis, of course). We joked that she would have to hide her walker underneath her wedding dress as she walked down the aisle, but lo and behold, she walked on her own by her wedding!

Probably the biggest lessons that I learned from all of this is that every single day of life on Earth is a gift from God. The good and the bad days need to be appreciated, and neither the good nor the bad should be taken for granted.

Lastly, because of this experience, I witnessed the most beautiful miracles I could have been blessed to have; being the recipient of the love of Christ through His followers. To the countless kind people who showed and gave me love when I needed it most, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you to the guardian angels from above who protected Alison and me that day six years ago, and spared our lives.  Thank you to the mortal angels who pulled us out of our burning car, and to the woman who held my hand and kept me calm as I panicked on the side of the road. Thank you to our friends who were so understanding when we "stood them up" that night , and to our family who dropped everything to be with us that day, and who continued to helped take care of us for months after the accident. Thank you to my two best friends who helped me wash my hair when I was too weak to wash it myself. Thank you to my friends, bishopric, ward members, and to the many people I didn't even know knew I existed, who called me, visited me, brought me flowers and treats when I was bed ridden, and to those who knew I was depressed and lonely, and would come visit me with chocolate milk and doughnuts to help cheer me up (you know who you are!) Thank you to those who were kind and patient enough to drive me to and from a school that was over half an hour away from where I lived. I could go on and on. 6 years later and you still will never know just how much you all meant to me.  Your love and support has allowed me to make lasting friendships and cherished memories I would not have made had the accident never happened.

You cannot go through an experience or trial like this and not have a changed heart. I consider it one of the greatest blessings that has ever happened to me. Every day of life is a gift.

Happy 6 year Sister Life Day, Ali! And may we have 6 more decades to go.

The aftermath of Bird Poop (the name of my Neon)

My Dad and Travis retrieved our belongings in the car graveyard the next day

Even sick, she looks so beautiful

My sweet nephew kept my spirits up

Testing out the wheelchair

Yeah, they removed the cast and my leg was HAIRY

I lost a lot of calf muscle!

Ali's leg. Yowwch!

Taken last spring :)

What's New Pussycat?

(Wow,  I started this entry in late April and I am just now finishing and publishing the post. This post only includes an update up until June.)

I feel like I'm always asked the same old questions time and time again:
"What's new?"
"How's it going?"
"What have you been up to lately?"

And I feel as though I usually reply with the same old vague and uninteresting answers:
"Oh not much,"
"It's going good," "
"Just the same old, same old,"
"Oh you know, just living the dream."

Etc., etc.

Because in truth, I'm in my life so much, that I forget how much is really going on. I tend to forget that life really does change dramatically from week to week, month to month. Even lately, when people ask me what is up, I fail to give any real substance to what is going on in our lives, because I forget that important, exciting, and nerve wracking things are happening to us. Below are my most recent, life changing events:

Before I dig into the meat of this post, below are a few fun highlights I have experienced over the past couple of months:

• Goblin Valley -- I went on a short weekend getaway with my parents in April to Goblin Valley. We had a blast camping in a yurt, hiking and exploring the gorgeous scenery, eating tin foil dinners, listening to Neil Diamond, and bonding.

Our temporary home :)

the cute 'rents :) 

Picking the Goblin's nose :P

View from our porch

That little guy in the distance looks like a turtle

• AWOLNATION

My sister Alison was able to get Vance and me free concert tickets to see AWOLNATION live at the U. We were so stoked! Ali of course came too, and we invited our friend Meliss to join us. It was a blast!

We're spelling AWOL with our hands. Homemade concert shirts!

"Never let your fear decide your fate"

•  Pilates -- I have fallen in love with the art of Pilates, and try and go twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays at our local fitness center, when my schedule permits me to. It's an excellent release, and it's a great physical and therapeutic hobby to help me unwind and to get my doughy body back into shape.

• Imagine Dragons -- Since last spring, Imagine Dragons has become one of mine and Vance's favorite bands.We were able to go to their concert on May 20th at UVU,  and it was incredible! They put on such a great show, and Vance and I had such a great time!

Now, back to reality. Let's start with...


• Work -- I hit my 3 year mark at Zoobies the beginning of April. I felt that considering all the time, blood, sweat, tears, and frustration I have put into my work there, that it was a huge milestone and a ginormous accomplishment. I even talked my bosses into getting me a frontrunner pass so that I could ride the train into work and be at the office in Bountiful every day for them. No more spending gas money!

• Front Runner -- I spent the entire month of April commuting every day to and from Bountiful. It was a new and unique experience for me. I felt slightly sophisticated and business like, catching trains and relying on public transportation to get me to and from work; setting up my laptop and working from the train. Kind of reminded me of my summer in Europe 4 years ago. All the traveling and keeping up with the schedules was exhausting, but I kind of enjoyed it. Rather than driving an hour to work, and another hour home, I got to sit and enjoy the scenery while I listened to my iPod and worked on my laptop. Plus, free wi-fi! It was funny to see the same commuters everyday, catching their way to and from work, just like myself. I found  myself wondering where they worked, what they did for a living, what their families were like, and if they recognized me and wondered what I did for a living. I'll bet no one guessed that the loner chick with the mint green laptop and bright pink headphones in her ears was the designer of adorable plush animals, haha.

April 'twas a very rainy month to commute...

Two trains are better than one ;)

Other than the regular stress of work at Zoobies, things were going fair (not great, just fair) ......until.....I got the news towards the end of April that I would be.....

• Laid off -- Turns out Zoobies was doing worse than I thought, and starting May 1st, I would be cut off from health insurance, and my working hours would be cut drastically. Not even any unemployment benefits for me while I get things sorted out. I was intending to look for a new job ASAP, but this unexpected turn of events meant feverishly looking for a new job IMMEADIATELY, which meant -- re-building and polishing my resume and putting together my portfolio -- all things that would require hours of my time, lots of energy, and a little bit of money. But what I was even more concerned about at the time was my lack of health insurance. You see, Vance and I had just started a long process with our doctors toward the beginning of January regarding...

• Infertility -- It's about time I talked about this openly. Now, I am not saying that we cannot have children, we just don't KNOW if we can. In November of 2011, shortly after our one year anniversary, we both felt strongly that we were ready for parenthood, and that it was time to start our family. I had a couple of dreams that summer, one in which I was in labor and being rushed to the delivery room, and another a few months after that where the name of my first born daughter was given to me. I had been off of birth control just months after we were married because it made me so depressed and weird, so we figured we would and could get pregnant right away.

Turns out the Lord isn't ready for us to become parents yet.

It has been heartbreaking, month after month, getting our hopes up and thinking, "This is the month I'll have a positive sign on my pregnancy test!", just to start my monthly cycle instead. I have stopped taking tests altogether. It is a waste of money to see that negative sign, over and over again. It has become discouraging, and has caused fears in my mind that maybe this will not happen for us. So many of my friends haven't even been trying, and have gotten pregnant, or have gotten pregnant within the first couple months of leisurely trying. Although I am happy for others who are welcoming little bundles of joy into their lives,  having the same blessings not currently happening for us has caused an ache in our hearts, and lots of tears. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't look in the mirror and wish that I had a baby bump, proof of life growing inside of me.

Because I knew I was getting off of my insurance soon, I quickly made some appointments with my doctor, and he has ran some tests to see if he could find anything out. Vance was tested a few months back, and everything checked out okay. I started chlomid (fertility pills to increase my chances of pregnancy), a few months before I was laid off, as well. The tests and ultrasounds that the doctor ran didn't show anything abnormal or weird. It looks like I am ovulating, and my ovaries have been doing what they are supposed to, at least on the chlomid, anyway.

Knowing that everything looks fine, and that my cycle comes like clockwork only frustrates me even more. I can't help by think "Why? We're doing everything right, we're healthy, nothing is wrong with either of us, so then WHY?" I know everyone means well, but I am sick and tired of everyone telling me cliche answers that it's just stress, or that it will happen in the Lord's time, or just that it will happen when it's supposed to happen. And please don't ask me if I am tracking my period, or checking my temperature, tracking when I ovulate, praying, fasting, or any of those other questions. Yes, of course I am.

There are those in FAR less ideal circumstances that we -- two happily married young adults in their 20s wanting to start a family -- who get pregnant all the time. I have dreamed about becoming pregnant my entire life. It has been something I just always knew would happen for me. I grew up putting basketballs under my shirt and rubbing my fake stomach. And Vance has wanted to be a father since he was in the 3rd grade. One of the reasons I fell in love with him was because of his love for babies and young children. He would be such a great dad. Ever since our first sacrament as a married couple, we have probably paid as much attention to the babies and children in the ward, as we have to the speakers giving talks. So why? Is Heavenly Father just making sure I am a more "seasoned" mother before I am allowed the same privilege as the many younger moms out there?

I understand that for the past 3+ years, basically since I started work at Zoobies, I have been under a lot of stress, which could easily be a contributing factor in the lack of babies. Zoobies wasn't exactly a "leave your work at work" kind of career. I had to carry it with me everywhere, even on vacations. I had to check my emails night and day, meet ridiculous deadlines, and wear a lot of different hats, whether I was qualified for the responsibilities or not. It was nearly impossible to take time off for anything. I didn't have a team to help me carry the weight, and constantly felt like I was drowning in work. When I got married, I had to make a hard decision to temporarily give up my dreams of becoming an artist in order to provide for us, and in order to keep our home in order. And even at my new job, which I love, it's still stressful being the one that needs to bring home the bacon.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate all of the hard work Vance is doing for us as he goes to school full time, and manages to still work part time, and mean no disrespect. Vance is paving the way for us to have a better life in the future, and he is doing all of this so that one day he can financially provide for me and our future children. I am just saying it has been hard to be one who needs to financially provide for the family, take care of the home, and still try and find time for herself. It is hard when this same person who is the main source of income and takes care of the home and runs around 24/7 trying to stay afloat, wants very badly to become a mother. It's hard when I always thought I was so young, but slowly watch myself getting older and older.  I do try and find time to relax. I take baths, I do pilates, I read books, I read my scriptures, I paint my nails, I watch mindless fun sitcoms to keep my mind off of things, I try and meditate before I fall asleep....I dream that I am pregnant. But it's not enough.

Thus, until I get back on insurance, we wait. There is nothing else we can do except for hold on to hope, stay positive,  continue to pray, and have faith that Heavenly Father understands the bigger picture much more than we do. There must be a reason for all of this waiting and not knowing.

• Job Hunt --  In late April/early May the job hunt began. I completed my resume and portfolio, which felt like it took ages to do, and set out on my ambitious journey. I applied to a position at UVU, because I thought it would be great to work so close from home, I'd be able to get Vance free tuition, they have health benefits, and I thought it would be a nice and organized change of scenery. I also applied to a position at Myler Disability in American Fork, where I would do some office work, work with lawyer and legal cases, and deal with  retired, disabled clients over the phone, helping to get them health coverage, and even some back pay. I also applied to a photolab in Orem I've enjoyed getting my photos and digital scrapbook pages done at, called Persnickety Prints. The other main job I applied for was The Daily Herald newspaper, where I would be a designer doing ad layout.

I never got an interview with UVU, but almost immediately after applying, I received phone calls for interviews to Persnickety Prints, Myler Disability, and The Daily Herald. I was hired a couple days after having my interview with Myler Disability, but felt like it wasn't the right job for me, so I thanked them for the opportunity, but declined the job. Next, my interview with Persnickety went really well. It wasn't exactly what I was looking for (I was hoping for a design position that possibly provided health benefits). The position would be costumer service, printing, and packaging. All things I wouldn't mind doing, but it was only a part time position with not nearly as much money as I have been used to earning over the past 3 years. They loved that I had a graphic design/illustrator background, and hired me. I accepted, and would start work about 2 or 3 weeks from the date that they called me and hired me. That gave me time to still search for a job that would really suit Vance and I and provide for us financially.

That is when I applied for the Daily Herald. The first interview went really well, and I tried to imagine myself working there. The interviewer was impressed with my portfolio/resume, and gave me a timed design challenge, which I took, and he said I did well. I wasn't super excited about the position, but I initially felt I could enjoy working there if hired. A week later, I finally heard back from them and they asked me to complete a new, timed follow up design challenge. I did really well on the design challenge, and yet another week went by before I heard back from them again. This time they wanted me to come back in for a final interview, so we could go over the 2 design challenges I did for them, and to meet the design team. By this point, I was already working at Persnickety, and so it made it kind of tricky to take an hour+ off of work so that I could go meet with them in Provo for the interview, and I was slightly peeved they were taking so long on the interview process.

The interview went really well, and I was at ease and felt very confident and comfortable. Unfortunately, I was not thrilled with the design team or the environment I would be in. These were people I would have to work with everyday, and doing ad layout would be what I did everyday, and it was on this day that I just felt so unexcited about it. They told me I would know by the end of the day whether or not I was selected for the job. I secretly prayed I would not get the job, because I knew that due to really needing to provide for my family, and desperately wanting health insurance and  a benefits package, I would have to say yes and accept the job. I feared I would accept it, and be just as miserable at this job as I had been at my last. I also feared if I turned it down, Vance and my family would think I was crazy, and be disappointed in my decision.

Well, another day and a half went by before I FINALLY heard back from The Daily Herald. I had been on the edge of my seat since the interview, chomping my fingernails down to little nubs, trying to figure out how to handle the situation if offered the job. I knew I would do a good job there, and felt like I aced the interviews, yet I did NOT want the job. I prayed that everything would work out how it was supposed to. I had been checking my phone non-stop all day, and checking me email every few minutes. Finally, at around 5:00, I got an email saying I was a close candidate, but did not get the job. Where I should have felt disappointment, I felt relief and joy. I could continue working at Persnickety, which I was really enjoying, and thus continue my search to find the right job.

In between waiting to hear back from The Daily Herald, and on my days off from working at Persnickety, I was job hunting. Which leads me to.....

• doTERRA -- One day, I felt impressed to swing by doTERRA in Orem on Center, and see if they had any positions open. I had thought about applying there around Christmas time last year, as I had heard nothing but good things about the place, knew they provided benefits and health insurance, and fantasized a job as a designer there. But at this point, I almost wasn't going to go because I was almost positive there would be no design positions open, and I REALLY didn't want to work at the call center making $10p/hr. However, because I was enjoying my PT job at Persnickety (despite the huge pay cut from working at Zoobies), I thought working at the call center part time alongside Persnickety during the summer wouldn't be too bad. Low stress, leave my work at work. Come home and relax.

So I walked into the Corporate office building, and went up to the receptionists desk. I asked the girls if they were hiring, and they told me to to just go online to their site and there would be a listing for what jobs were available. I did as they said, but wasn't very hopeful.

I went home and checked out the listings. Call center had some openings (blah), but alas, there was nothing for a designer position, or a receptionist position, which I also wouldn't have minded doing. Even though I didn't have any experience for any the corporate positions they were offering, I applied :)  A week or so later, I got an unexpected call. It went a little something like this:

-- unknown phone number --

Me: "Hello, this is Annika"

Todd: "Hi Annika, my name is Todd from the corporate office at doTERRA, how are you?"

I perk up a little bit. I applied for 2 positions at doTERRA-- the call center, and a corporate position. I had already had an interview set up for the next day with the call center, located a block away from the corporate office. This phone call meant that my resume I submitted to the corporate office had indeed been received and looked at! 

Me: "Great, how are you?"

Todd: "Doing well. I noticed that you applied for a marketing/communications positions here a week or so ago, but your resume says you are a designer..."

My shoulders slump a little bit. I think he's just calling me to let me know I am not qualified for the position he is looking for. 

Me: "Yes, I did. And yes, I am a designer. I know I'm not quite qualified for the position, but I figured it was worth a shot."

Todd: "Well yes, that is actually why I wanted to call you. I am the head of the design department at doTERRA, and we just had a design position open up. I was hoping you would consider applying for this position instead. I'd love to meet you for an interview if you are interested."

 I perk up in my seat.

Me: "Yes, that would be great! I have an appointment for a job interview with the call center tomorrow at 10:00, but I would be much more interested in a position as a graphic designer if there is an opening. Design is what I would really love to be doing."

Todd: "Well we would much rather have you and your skills over here, than there. Plus, as a designer, you would be earning more than you would if you were at the call center. Would you be able to come over here for an interview right after your interview with the call center?"

Yes! Of course!

Me: "That sounds perfect. I will see you tomorrow morning. Would you like me to bring a copy of my portfolio?"

Todd: "Yes, that sounds great. Just come to the receptionist desk when you arrive, and ask for Todd. See you tomorrow, Annika."

Happy dance!

That phone call instantly felt like an answer to prayers. And although I didn't have the job yet, I already felt like it was mine, and that the position opened up just for me. Vance came home from work right after that phone call, and I could hardly contain my excitement as I told him the news.

I had my interview with Todd the next day, and it went really well. I felt very confident, and when I pictured myself working there, it was a night and day difference from how I felt about working at The Daily Herald. Thinking about working here even made me forget about my current job at Persnickety, a job that I was really enjoying.

Todd gave me a tour of the building and of the product, briefly introduced me to the design team (yes, an actual TEAM of people who design), and introduced me to some more of his colleagues (one of which was the freelance videographer for Zoobies, whom I worked with sporadically for the past 3 years. Since I already had his number, I texted him shortly after the interview, and told him to put in a great word for me at doTERRA.)  I wanted to work there. The environment excited me. There was a variety of people, and I could tell it was a positive environment. I could picture myself working there and being very happy. It felt right. I knew the job was mine, I just needed Todd to call me back up and tell me it was mine. Too bad I had to wait 2+ more weeks to hear back from him. While I waited, and shortly after my interview, Vance and I took a vacation to....

• Disneyland -- While it may appear irresponsible for us to have taken a vacation at such a crucial time like this, I saw it as an opportunity to escape reality, which had been so dominant, overpowering, and stressful lately.  After so much stress and disappointment, I just needed to relax, soak up some vitamin D, and forget about reality for a little while. Plus, I actually HAD time to take off, and who knows when that can and will happen again? It seems like you either have the time to take a vacation, and no money to do it, or the money to take a vacation, and no time to go on one. Vance and I both put away at least 10% of our earnings each paycheck into savings, and put away most of our tax return into savings, so we figured this would be good for us.  When I worked for Zoobies, it was nearly impossible to take time off, so we decided, ah....what the hell, Disneyland or bust!

We took a road trip with our good friends Peggy and Thad to California, and had a great little mini vacation!

Ready to go!

Got bacon? Random gas station finds. A bit odd if you ask me. ;)

First Night: Downtown Disney

Vance's face cracks me up in this one!

Day 2: Disneyland!

Haha

Day 3: California Adventure....Carsland.
Vance's face slays me! 

Only a 2+ hour wait to go on the new Radiator Springs Cars ride! oi!

(semi) happily ever after ;)

Drawing Disney characters

Our true story is this: Vance and I met while
attending school at Monsters U.

Day 4: Mickey Mouse Ferris Wheel

Carsland at night=AWESOME. 

World of Color

Day 5: Memorial Day! on....a private beach! We have connections--
friends of friends of friends :)

the gang :)

Sandy the crab! He looked too much like a spider for me to touch him...

Namaste ;) The buddah who was located at our hotel entrance

Day 6 -- ending the trip with a delicious fried meal from
Raising Cane's in Vegas.

Long story short, I came home from Disneyland, and a few days later I got a call from Todd with a job offer! I of course accepted, and started on June 7. I have loved working at doTERRA so far...the people are great, and it's a fun and happy environment, and of course, the product is pretty cool, and the discounts are nice :) It is the perfect place me me to be right now, and the best part is, it's only a 4 minute drive from my house!

Vance wishing me luck on my first day of my new job!