Update Part 3: Peace, Acceptance, and Faith

Written last Saturday: 

There comes a day when you stop holding your breath and stop praying that things will happen the way you want or expect them to. For me, that day was today. And it isn't because I am giving up, but because even though this life isn't turning out how I expected it to, or even necessarily how I wanted it to, that doesn't mean that my life isn't meaningful or beautiful. And even though it all seems so unfair, and I feel like my heart keeps getting ripped out of my chest, I can still find happiness.

Perhaps the Lord has something a little more unconventional planned for Vance and me, and our path has just been paved a little bit differently than others we see getting blessed in a way we crave to be blessed. Maybe we are not meant to fit a certain mold. Maybe he keeps telling us NO because there is something else we need to do right now. I wish I knew for sure. I'm scared, puzzled, and regrettably jaded, but I think I have a few ideas of what I am meant to do, and who I am meant to become as we continue to move forward. I have faith that Heavenly Father has wonderful things in store for us, we just need to be patient a little while longer.