Ever since I've struggled with infertility, that seems to be all I talk about on my blog. Yet on social media (Instagram and Facebook), I rarely ever talk about my personal struggles, because, well....they're personal. My blog is a place for me to get feelings off my chest and document intimate details of my life without bothering many followers, and without exposing myself to people I don't want to expose myself to. I honestly only blog for ME. I blog so that I can remember what I was feeling, when I was feeling it, and to later on down the road have an accurate remembrance of how it happened, and when. I also write so I can share my journal with my future posterity someday.
And then there's Instagram.
Ah, I love Instagram. It's there that I basically highlight the fun, happy, and best parts of my life in a photo journal. I'd honestly post on Instagram a lot more if I wasn't so afraid of annoying the crap out of my followers (because let's face it, we all get hella annoyed when people post too much). But why wouldn't I want to create a picture book of my life experiences, my observations, the amazing people in it, and capture and share as many of those precious moments as I can? Instagram is a genius way to quickly snap my life, immortalizing that moment, and write a quick little note to go along with the picture. It even captures the date and place I took/posted that picture. Best way to journal if you ask me! As soon as I look at a picture from my life (and read what I wrote about that moment) I become flooded with memories.
I am going to try and be better about incorporating more of that into my blog in the future; posting the pictures and the moments that make up my life and show what makes my life so special to me.
Below is the last picture I took in 2015 on New Year's Eve as I was waiting for the new year of 2016 to greet me. I posted it on Instagram with a rather lengthy caption. I want to share it here because I think what I had to say is relevant to what I have struggled through for years, and how all of those hard and trying years were stepping stones to get Vance and I to where we are now.
Took Christmas down today. As I was doing so, I was reflecting on this past year. Last year (2014) sucked. It was a REALLY hard year financially, emotionally, and spiritually. I cried......a lot. Vance worked an unpaid internship for 6 months and my income didn't really support us or his tuition. Despite our financial situation, we made so many efforts to continue trying to start our family with no success. On top of that, our (spidery) apartment had become infested with black mold and made me sick and ruined a bunch of artwork I did in college. We had such good friends, a great ward, and supportive family, but I felt like I was trapped in a deep, dark abyss of sadness and that things would never look up. Everyone around us was moving on to the next big phase in life, and it felt like we were moving backwards. I made a promise to myself last New Year's Eve that 2015 would be different, and that our many years of hard work trying to better our lives would finally pay off. And it was better.....by a landslide! We moved out of our moldy apartment and bought our first beautiful home together. Vance got a sweet job as a health and PE teacher, and we got rid of our rickety old car and bought a new one. Everything upgraded this year. I've been asking Santa since 2011 for a baby and he still hasn't delivered, but I still feel so blessed with how this past year went. We found a new doctor who we trust will help us achieve what we have been desiring for so long. 2015 has been my sweetest year yet, and I believe we have some plans paved to make 2016 even sweeter. Happy New Year everyone! #JOY #1Teacher
4 1/2 months in and 2016 has already proved to be memorable, and I truly believe it will be a pivotal and defining year for us as well. Cheers to 2016!
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